Open secrets

心底的痛/不告而别

2011-12-18T22:31:00.000+08:00

矛盾
说过放下，到了最后，依然放不下。
结果，苦了自己。
将近一年的时间，将近一年的宁静，就这样，一瞬间地被打破。
心，揪着。
一声不响，无声无息，来去匆匆。
原本是我最期待的一件事，却令我最失望和忧伤。
笨啊~
过了三个星期，我才知道你的离去。
太傻了。。。
我根本就不应该对你有任何的期望。连跟你见一面的期望也不能有。
你走吧。

Cooling Day 6th May 2011

2011-05-06T23:13:00.000+08:00

I feel like going on a journey on my own; just go anywhere to explore.
No pressure.
I'm gonna get back on my feet again.
Not going to be tied down by anything.

I have not been walking around on my own for quite some time already.
It's time.

Exam

2011-04-26T22:35:00.000+08:00

Finally done with my last module that is taught by Prof Tan.
Feeling is a vast difference from that of last year.
Feel very satisfied with my work and effort.
I know it was going to be a good day for me=)
Just so different.
Bathed, not nervous, new clothe.

Well, it's been 6 days since we last sms.
I seriously don't know what's really going through his mind.
Actually I don't know what I want too.
Feeling is not strong at all. Fading...
I guess the strong feeling I had initially was suppressed so successfully that it is supercooled.
Forget it?
I need to know what's going on. I can't let this end without a proper ending.

Buds

2011-03-17T23:30:00.003+08:00

I'm a little confused; I don't know how and whether I should proceed.
Reality is you have many choices and open to temptation, and I have no idea of whether you have the slightest interest in me.
I am afraid to put all my feelings into a new relationship.
Hesitant.
But i really wish that you are the right one and the one whom i can settle down with.
Is it infatuation ? I hope not.

On the other hand, I seriously want to draw a boundary between Hua and I. I will never like him and be with him. I don't wish to give him any false hope that he has a possibility getting me. That is not true and impossible.
He is not the least my cup of tea. It's just totally wrong. No way. I have to be honest.

The Outcome

2011-01-01T20:17:00.000+08:00

Finally, after all these years of waiting, I got your answer.
I know it's over. I'm not going to wait for the impossible to happen anymore. Enough is enough.
Now that i know you are seeing someone else, I know it's time to stop yearning I can have any future with you.
Hmmm.
Disappointment is inevitable.
But at least I'm not heart-broken.
It sucks.
Damn sucks.
Goodbye.
Goodbye to you.
I don't wish to see you again until I have gotten over this, until you see me holding another person's hand again.
Hmmm.
Bye.